This is my advice page.
(Even though i'm sure you know that already because of the extra huge title above).

First of all I would like to share some situations that may or may not have happened to you but have happened to some people who have come to me for help. Don't worry, i'm not the type that helps people out and then goes on and telling their problems to everyone on the net. No, the people in these stories are not real, but the situations have happened. I just changed the names so that no one would recognize them. This is just for the sole purpose of explaining a situation and describing how to handle it if it ever happens to you. Now then. Here are the stories...

click on one and you will automatically be brought to the starting:

The Right Way

Caught in the Middle

Another's Touch
 
 
 

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(The situations you will find below are true. The names have been changed to protect the people involved in the situation ... and so they don't get pissed at me for saying their names online!)

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The Right Way

    There once lived a girl named Tiara. She was 15 years old and went to school just like everyone else. She wanted to enjoy her third year of high school because she wanted to forget the previous year. She thought that it was time for a change. She didn't like what she had done in the past and wanted to become a better person. Tiara had a best friend named James. He was her best friend since their first year of high school. They did everything together. Whenever there was a party that one attended, the other was sure to be there too. Tiara had a crush on James but was afraid to show it because it might ruin their friendship, so she kept quiet about it and acted like a normal best friend would the whole time. Sure she had a boyfriend in the past, and they were still friends, but love had struck Tiara once again. James was the type that would go for anyone he liked. He had about 3 girlfriends in the past, the last one being in the second year of high school and didn't last very long.

    One day, it was a tuesday i think, James asked a surprising question. In the philippines, it is necessary for a boy to court a girl before asking her to become his girlfriend, unlike what you have to go through in the united states where you date first before doing that. Obviously enough, James asked Tiara if he could court her. Tiara was of course both shocked and pleased with this, but she had her standards right? She couldn't just say "yes, yes, yes!!! I'll be your girlfriend!" and skip all the courting business. So she decided to wait a month or so to answer him. Days passed and Tiara enjoyed all the flattery and flowers she was receiving. Then the awaited day arrived. She knew what was going to happen. She pictured it the night before. ...James would be waiting in the classroom holding a bouquet of roses and everyone would be watching from outside... Surely enough, when Tiara got to the classroom, there was nobody inside except James holding a single blue rose with everyone outside staring and grinning. (ok, she made a mistake about the bouquet but who would care about that at a time like this right?) So anyway, Tiara smiled and James asked the question. "Will you be my girlfriend?", James asked. Tiara was about to shout out her answer but got a grip on herself. "yes", she said in a gentle and shy voice. And everyone started to clap their hands.

    Months passed by and their relationship was the longest each one of them had. It was during the fourth month that things started going wrong. James was changing. He wasn't the same person TIara knew back in the first year of high school. He wasn't the best friend she had known before their relationship. He was becoming more ill tempered and self centered. For the past 4 months, Tiara had been working hard to help James in his studies. She did projects and assignments for him and neglected her own studies just to see James get better grades. James had never seemed to appreciate what Tiara was doing for him. Although she did love him very much, she was getting frustrated and confused. Questions arose in her head like "why is this happening?" or "why is he like that?". Tiara cried several times a week and was getting low grades in school. With the aide of her friends and James' best friend Tom, she was able to sort things out and talk with James. James said that he just had a lot on his mind and was sorry if he hurt her. Everything was back to normal and Tiara thought that would be the end of their problems, but she was wrong.

    In late April, during the incoming seventh month of their relationship, more problems occurred, The situation that Tiara had thought to be over had returned and James came up with a so called "remedy". He thought that it would be best if they both had time apart or a "cool off" to set things straight. They would be able to do things that they couldn't do when they're together like see other people or do the things that the other doesn't want them to do. In other words, they would be "free". And then after two months they would return to their relationship and hopefully resolve any more difficulties. Tiara was scared about what would be the result  of this but she wanted to do anything to get things back to the way they were before, so she agreed do it.

    A month had passed and things just didn't go as Tiara thought they would. They just drifted further and further apart from each other. James looked like he was enjoying his life while Tiara still thought about him and wished that the two months would just end so that everything might be all right. Then one day, Tiara received news from Tom, James' best friend, that James was courting another girl. This news cut through her like a knife. She broke into tears and consulted her friends about what she should do. (that's where I come in) All her friends said that she should end the relationship right away, but there was just one problem, she still loved him.

    This is what I said to her:
        "I know that you still love him. And i also know that you're hurting a lot. You're the only person who can do anything about this, I'm just here to show you the choices you have, You're the one that has to make them. Ask yourself one question. Am I willing to stay with James and have the huge possibility that all the problems and pains I have suffered before will return? If your answer is yes, then  staying with him is your only choice. But, if your answer is no, then you know you have to end it so that it won't hurt you more. Even if you love someone, if the feeling is only one way, then it's not worth going through all this pain."

(and i don't know why, but i always seem to find the perfect song to relate to people's problems. In this case, it's Just Hold On by Boyz II Men.) If you don't know the lyrics, here they are:

Just Hold On (Boyz II Men)

I know you've been going through some things
The pain you hold inside's written on your face
I know you're ‘bout tired of the rain
Well baby so am I but I know things can change
Well you can die, you can sigh, you can cry ‘'til your
midnight blue, but that's not you, no, no
‘Cause I know you're stronger, it's apparent to me, so do you…

CHORUS
If you just hold on, I swear that everything will be O.K.
I know that you're nervous, baby give it some time
things will go your way (2x)

I know it's been heavy on your mind, baby give him up
he's not worth your time
Where is it that says you need a guy, well you don't need his
love to justify your life
So he can go, let him go, make him go
You should put him too, and so can you
I know that you're stronger, it's getting clearer to me, so do you…

CHORUS

So don't let your defenses down
I know somehow you'll work things out
Don't break your heart on no one else
You should just believe in yourself, yourself…

CHORUS ( to fade )
 

Result:
    Tiara broke up with James and now lives her own life. She still loves him and thinks about him but she says she's over him. She doesn't feel hurt anymore or anything. She now knows that you have to divide your time evenly, and not to get love in the way of everything else. She knows that you can't let it take over your life. She now works hard in school and has great times with her friends.
 
 

Caught In the Middle
 
 

Another's Touch